Day 38: Progress Slows And Anxiety Sets In

When it comes to getting a workout routine going there are always several roadblocks that tend to pop up to make it even harder than it already is. Money is always an issue because for some reason health food--you know, that crap that has little to no taste but is good for you--tends to be expensive. Time has always been an issue, but up till recently that has been sort of dealt with.

When I was younger it was easier to find the time and deal with the roadblocks as they came up, but now--not so much. My inability to deal with one this week is starting to stress me the f*ck out.

via giphy

What is the issue? Responsibility.

The kids come first, but with them in school from 8:30-4:30 I have a good block of time freed up during the day. Easy, right? So I just go when they are in school. Well--that has kind of been working, but it kind of hasn't been.

So far, I've been getting in at least three times a week and hitting the weights. The hope was that I could get the routine established and start getting in more time for cardio. So far--haven't done that once. Instead, I've been barely getting in enough time to get the weights in.

That part is frustrating, but it is not the part that is stressing me out.

I work from home. I only get paid if I turn in stories. I can't work with the kids at home (and awake) which has made them being in school fantastic. I've had enough to do that I've been staying up super late and sleeping little in order to get work done.

It always catches up with me, though. When it does--it sucks.

So even with the kids in school, I didn't have time to do anything but work. So I cut out my own website since it wasn't making me crap and took up a ton of time. For the last month, it has helped me make what time I have made for the gym.

So what's the frustrating part?

For some reason, this week my brain seems to be working in super slow motion. I feel like I'm working at a good click, but before I know it, it is time to get the kids and I haven't done much. Somehow I've managed to lose my ability to stay awake and work at night so that leaves me getting very little work done this week.

That frustrates me--but it gets worse. I've ended up missing the gym every day this week because by the time I realize what time it is it is too late for me to get there and do much more than walk through the front door.

This is frustrating the f*ck out of me. Not only am I getting very little work done, but I'm missing my workouts too.

It is actually a good sign that it bugs me so much when I miss. I've had another good sign this week as well. Normally, under this kind of situation, I would seek out some comfort food, but I have not. I've thought about it, but each time I did I came to my senses before actually buying anything.

Hopefully, I'll get my mind right by next week and things will get back to normal. Till then I'll just have to make due with the small victories and stay away from the candy counter and drive-thru.